♥Wednesday, April 15, 2009;
7:50 PM
sleepy hollow
i really thought that things were going to be better. that morning when shariff called and told me my posting, i screamed at him over the phone. i was convinced that things are slowly changing. good things are happening now.
but that's not how things are suppose to be. if i bore you, go ahead and close the tab but i just need to get this out. for evey good thing that happens to anyone, there's an equally bad thing that hits them in the face.
do you know what it's like to have your heart ripped out from your chest, only to be thrown back into your face?
do you know what it's like to deal with a heartache on one hand, only to feel let down on the other?
i'm trying so hard to deal with everything from every side. and i will not allow myself to the luxury of crying or showing weakness. i do not want to give up.
if all it takes is to scream at the top of my lungs when things go wrong without having me to admit i need help, then by all means i am more than welcome to do just that to keep going on.
gezi, i hope you're well. yesterday was hard for you i know. but i hope you heard what i had to say and think about it.
and to that one person out there, please stop bugging my best friend just to find me. she'll keep saying she doesn't know so just stop it now. i don't know how else to make it clear to you. you'll never understand. and you'll never see. and i'm not putting myself out like that again only to be disappointed by you.
frankly, i'm a little worried about the impending doom my whole family is moving towards but i reside in my fate and believe in god if it's the best thing for my family. i've been making weird discoveries about mum and dad. now that i'm not working, i've got a lot of time snooping around. everything used to be so fast-paced i didn't notice a lot of things.
on a final note:
Good luck to all my dudes and dudettes to the upcoming attachment in your respective areas. Make sure to stay positive always!! Keep in touch whenever you can and don't lose hope. It's a long way I know. We'll party hard once it's over. Promise! ><
mew...
