12:42 AM

good grief...

i'm at that point where when i laugh so hard, i'd realise the irony of it then turn into sobs. it's hard, yes, but i just wish i could burst out and say what i need to say. even if it means nothing to noone.

i can't keep hiding things cause it's starting to show. and all i ever want is to be happy with everything that's around me cause i just can't afford to lose it.

i don't know.

sometimes, i wonder why i do what i do. i don't want noone's pity cause it sucks when people think you're incapable of doing nothing yourself.

and shite, everyone at work is having problems we're slowly spreading to each other. but i have yet to crack.

Raya this year WILL definitely be different. except for this one thing i do every year on the eve of it. at least, now i know, i'm more alone than ever. and it's kind of okay. i might be ready to let go.


but still, i'm deeply depressed that for some reason, after that chance meeting, i never heard from you again.

p.s. my sister was such a sweet cherry pie. i love you many many and will not forget everything you've done for me today. i love that we can depend on each other for just about anything. and i like where we are. (: