5:50 AM

I didn't slept through the night again. It's been two days now.

And no, I'm not doing this to prove my love to someone.

I'm in terrible pain, I'm deeply brooding, and I'm just plain thinking non-stop.
It's just not in my books to do what you do. I don't understand. Perhaps, I never will. But I know when to walk away when I'm no longer needed. It beats better than to be told to leave. I'd rather walk out on my own. I guess it's in my nature. Through experience of some sorts. I know when to say goodbye. I even know how to. Though noone ever told me it hurt every single time. Even then, it doesn't matter, does it?

I don't know. I've been real emotional these past few days. And I admit, I do bottle them up. But I don't want anything that makes me unhappy around me. I would, unknowingy cast it aside. I want to be happy. I don't want to hurt again.

I tried to be extremely genki at work. Though the only time that happened was when I was with Jay during lunch/early dinner break. And we were just talking by the bench next to the escalator, drinking red bull. I gulped it down in under 3 minutes. I needed it.

Then Yami-chan popped by. Her friends are nice though I realised that I was somehow afraid(??) to look directly at her friends... Hazukashi... =.=

I left work too early. I couldn't take it. Though before closing there was this really, really sweet ang moh, who dropped in and asked if we had any golf balls. I replied and apologised that we didn't have them. I suggested he try another store, but then he said he went there first. Then suddenly, he said,

"You're wearing contacts!!"

I kinda bummed out here cause it didn't take him long to realise my eye colour was FAKE. Then again, he added,

"I love your contacts! They're gorgeous!"

At this part, I melted. I swear to God, I looked away in shy mode. But turned back to look into his eyes. Hehe~! Then he did the most shocking thing. He called out his parents to come look at me. I was blushing straight to heaven Ueda(pun intended, ueda=above. can i be taguchi-kun's partner now??? sugoi... ><)!

After they left, it kept me smiling for the next half an hour until closing. Sweet, huh?!

Anyway, my pain's subsided a little after popping some painkillers. I should be okay now. But then again, I forgot how much I'd taken... So, if I don't wake up tomorrow, know that I love you guys; my family(despite how much we bicker, so much so, I wanna move to Japan), my friends(from the besties, to the classmates, to everyone else I've known) and anyone reading this pathetic blog.


Minna, ogenki de. :)

Take care, everyone.