2:13 PM

What would you do when you realize that after all the hustle and bustle of your busy life,
you are ALONE?

Many of us surround ourselves with great company; friends, family and confidantes. But naturally, why do we feel lonely at the end of the day?

I don't mean physically alone. It's that feeling as though you're somehow detached from yourself. The feeling of emptiness or the lack of a certain something.

I'll be honest and say that I get that feeling on some days. Some thing's missing and I can't put my finger on it. But no, it's not about not having an other half. I'm used to that part of my life. The people that went in and out and the people that still stay within me. I'm really okay with it.

It's just that, when things happen around me, I'm beginning to think that there are some battles that I have to fight on my own. Be it protecting myself, defending others or understanding me. It's no longer a war of words or weapons, cause the only wounds we're going to get cannot be healed with dettol or antiseptics. We can't always rely on our blood to clot to stop the bleeding.

In some way, we're already bleeding inside. And no matter how we nurse it, the pain gushes out, bringing you down that very dark place. You know you've climbed out of that hole once before. But you always question yourself if the hole was now deeper. Whether we'd make it this time.

I know my mistakes. I acknowledge them. But sometimes circumstances make us repeat those mistakes. Drawn to a corner where things no longer work. And you just have to rely on the strength of your soul to keep on fighting. If you lose, there may be a chance for you in the near future. But many a times, people lose their way completely. Never able to find the light. Lost in a cold, dark world where noone bothers to save their lives, much less their own.

I have been there. I have done that. But it's not something I am proud of. That horrid sick feeling where things are appearing like deja vu. I want to make changes but things are not looing my way. Heck, life never does look into our way.

We're constantly searching. For what? And when we have found it, what do we do? Heh. -..-